I've given up on life since years ago, not daring to dream anymore nor seeing myself reaching for anything above. It's funny, when you finally be at peace with yourself, you just realize that you are not healing, you are just ready. I thought I would be afraid, but I am not. I turn from someone who had ambitions into someone who just live because well I am still alive and I had responsibilities here?
Is it just a shape of disappointment? I don't think so, I truly tried thinking so hard, finding what went wrong and yes of course I know when it finally went wrong, but do I try to fix it? No, I don't really care about it, I just.. giving up already and I've been doing this for too long.
People said, "look at your daughter and son, maybe you'll find strength".
I did and the only strength that I had is to working very hard so I might be able to leave them money for their future.
I am just broken and sick right now. I couldn't turn any screw in my head to make all of it make sense. am I going crazy?
Oh and yes, I forgot a lot for someone who treasure memories, I forgot too much.
